Awe life ....

Life has been crazy these last couple weeks... Between working an opposite schedule from my husband , crazy mommyness and diabetes. I can reasonably say I need a vacation ;) 

I am very blessed I have a great home and an awesome husband and son. It just feels like I've been sprinting the last couple weeks. Does anyone ever feel like that ? I'm sure most people feel similar :) I think the major reason for feeling like that is due to my blood sugars running extremely low. So I'm sure most of you know I have type 1 diabetes since the age of nine. Ideal range of blood sugars should run between 80-120 .  Anything under 70 is considered a low blood sugar. It's normal to have lows occasionally and many things can cause lows , like exercise, not eating, illness and many many other reasons. I have been having at least one to two (or more) lows a day with a blood sugar below 40. Not fun for me. When I am low my hands are shakey, Sometimes I sweat profusely, my legs feel weak ( jelly legs) and I just can't process mentally like I should. I have been told that when I get very low I act like I'm drunk. Which is not a good think especially at work. 

 

I have lowered my insulin dosages and I have to make sure I have some type of low snack wherever I go. I usually test around 6 time a day but now in up to around 12 times per day.  Overall I am just tired ,  these lows are sucking the life out of me :) 

Part of my problem is I just need to chill out and stop stressing... Between work, trying to be a good mom and wife, commuting 70 miles per day and my grandmothers recent death, it's not an easy task :( but things will and should slow down and things ( mostly diabetes ) will be happier . 

But on to more fun things .... Aidan and I worked on and finished his science fair project this weekend :) it was fun to get to spend some quality time with him. 

Aidan worked so hard on this project . I contributed with grammar and spelling correction, graph making, and a bit of craftiness . And after watching Aidan with the super glue I became in charge of that too ;) 

After some of his experimenting Aidan passed out on our dog Theo ...

I swear that dog will take whatever that boy wants to dish out and be totally happy about it. If you look closely Ai has a balloon from his project still in his hand . I just love Theo he is a big comfort to me, we just need to make him a diabetes service dog that can smell when I'm low and he'd be perfect ;) haha they actually have dogs like that!  They are a tad spendy like $10,000 spendy . 

I know I always say this but I will blog more .... Hopefully 

Love - Kat

I asked Michael if he needed some stress relief tablets today (we've had a ridiculous week). He replies ”I had a HUGE one of those this morning....it's called a cupcake”

Lol...love my hubby :)

Good vibes....

Yesterday was a bad day to say the least...  So I have decided that a good attitude is as simple as a conscious decision to just be positive and happy.  So that's what's happening.  I'm not saying that I may not have bad days but I know a positive attitude will get me through them a whole lot easier. 

How can I not be positive with all the blessings I have?! I have a ridiculously handsome husband who still finds a way to laugh and have fun even on his worst days. I have the sweetest son... Aidan got out of bed last night and asked me to come cuddle. I did and he then proceeded to say how I was loved by everyone even him. ”I love you to the sun and back mom..the sun is farther than than moon so that just means I love you lots and lots”...needless to say that got me over my little pity party I was having.

I read my patriarchal blessing and said a nice long prayer and things just seemed better...
So good vibes come my way, I'm ready for  them!

Tired of being patient...

I know I've said this in the past but I'll say it again.... I promise to blog more :) I think I need an outlet and for right now this will be it.... Soooo I'm gonna try to do this more often and have a record of what my life is like now,  cause I know as time passes I will forget what I went through, and how I got where I am.

So fair warning today is a vent session, so here goes....

I am so ridiculously tired of being patient!!!!!  I know things will get better eventually and in some ways they have.  We are very blessed to have Michael's cancer in remission and we are slowly starting to get back on our feet...But I just want this phase in life to be over!!  I don't want to think about how I'm going to pay my bills and living expenses.  I  don't want to hate my job and the people I work with . And I want to go back to the girl that was positive and knew how to smile... I seriously I'm finding it hard to smile these days, positive thoughts are usually pushed out of my head and doubts just replace them.

It's amazing how much your life can change in just 6 months.  This time last year Michael and I were talking about preparing to have another child. And then summer started, I went to diabetes camp and came back to having 2 teenagers living with us and then a month later my husband is diagnosed with cancer.... Needless to say my "plan" for how life was supposed to progress went out the window.  I was supposed to be losing weight, getting my blood sugars perfect, and buying a new insulin pump and getting pregnant!! Now after the cancer treatments we don't even know if we can have kids naturally.  We might be able to get pregnant with some of Michael's "swimmers" we had saved before chemo.  But I do not want to pay to get pregnant, on top of a high risk diabetic pregnancy!  i'm just sad....

Disclaimer- to my friends that are pregnant or have recently had a baby I'm so so happy for you and I love you....BUT why are so many people pregnant right now!!

I'm officially a baby hungry psycho ...LOL

That and chemo is expensive!!!! Really how in the world to they expect people to pay for chemo even with insurance helping out....

I'm sorry this is depressing and I just need to stop... I just NEED a vacation (but unfortunately that will not be  happening anytime soon)

Now to leave off on a more positive note....I  just want to say thank you to all my friends and family that help me, and listen to me and try to make me smile.. I truly am blessed as far as friends go ;) I love you guys and I promise next post will hopefully be way more positive.

Kat

Help :(

We have been blessed this whole summer with friends and family willing to help us out with Michael's cancer diagnosis.  I think my friends are starting to get annoyed with me that I will not give them assigned tasks to help us out :) But we are okay physically, kinda okay emotionally but where we really need help is Financially....as much as  I hate to do this (it is a big cut to my pride) we have set up a paypal account for people to make donations. (look on the right side of the page)

The medical bills for cancer treatment are ridiculously expensive, even when you have an "easy" course of treatment.  But enough about money talk cause that just stresses me out  :)

We had a nice chill Thanksgiving, it was awesome.  Michael, Aidan and I all stayed home and had a turkey dinner complete with pumpkin pie for dessert.  No family type drama, no driving 30 miles to do go anywhere, just a nice day at home eating and watching movies.

Update on Michael:
Michael is doing well we just finished the last chemo round last week :) his appetite is slowly returning.  He is still tired and will be for quite some time.  The biggest issue he's having is tinnitus (ringing of the ears) is is pretty bad some days, it's hard to tell a energetic 7 year old boy that he has to be quite around dad.  We do not know if the ringing will go away or not , we are hoping and praying that it does.  Michael is teaching jiu jitsu at  Combat Fitness and that keeps his spirits up.  I'm working alot and Aidan is thriving at school and home :)

Hopefully Michael will do a blog post this week

Kat ;)

This is hard...

I don't really know how to explain what I'm feeling right now. Basically this situation our life is in right now is hard, I'm finding that the easiest way for me to deal with it is to be antisocial.  I'm so tired both emotionally, physically and mentally that being social is in no way appealing right now :(  I know that that sounds all sorts of depressing but it is the truth.  I find that when I talk to my friends it centers around Michael's cancer and our situation and I just feel like I'm always worrying  complaining or blubbering.  I already have to be cheerful for work 40 hours a week, so basically I just need a  break from people. . . Most of my good friends know that I occasionally go into a state of antisocial-ness and unfortunately it is happening for a bit  longer than normal.  For that I apologize, I swear I am okay.  I swear I am not inactive from church haha ;) I swear I'm not mad at you. . . I'll hopefully be back to myself soon.

Soooooo now that the depressing bit is out of the way. . .I just want to thank EVERYONE  Family, friends and even strangers for your love and support during this time in our life.  It's been crazy, but with our large group of friends to lean on it has made our life so much easier.  Thank you for joking with us, thank you for the food, the prayers, and love.  We are so grateful for everything we have in our lives right now and a big part of that is our friends :) so thank you!!

Love you all
Kat

Life is still crazy busy in the Ransom household. . . With chemo, a 7 year old, and full time work it feels like thing aren't going to slow down anytime soon :) but hopefully all will be well Michael has 1 more month of chemo and hopefully we will be in the clear.

It's not been a fun the last couple of months it's starting to get harder and harder to stay positive.  But I'm trying to get my brain to shut up and not think of all the "stress" type of stuff.  I think the main factor of the stress is just medical and other bills piling up, I know things will work out and I just need to have faith that they will and quit worrying.

We were all excited for Halloween yesterday but Aidan woke up with a fever and started puking :( it was ridiculous He was trying to convince me that he was okay because he didn't want to miss school and the Halloween party.  And right in the middle of his convincing me he was "fine" he started puking.  Needless to say Aidan stayed home from school , I went to work and prayed that he wouldn't get Michael sick.  So far Michael is fine :)

So after working 6 days in a row I finally have a day off and I'm home taking care of the sick Ransom boys :)  I'm just glad I get to spend some time with them.

Some friends have been asking for some websites I use so here they are...
Paleo Diet lifestyle I know some of you  guys think this is extreme but it's awesome you'll feel so much better and lose weight.   I went from a size 14 to a size 9 just with this diet imagine if I actually exercised ;)

Etsy - Michelle Verbeeck Leather medic alert bracelets

Sound hound app for android

Cozi Family organizer app for android This has everyone in the family's schedule in one place love it!! I have it on my phone and Michael has is on his Kindle fire and it links both our schedules so we know what is going on

Wendy's lookbook If I was a tad skinnier and had money I would dress like this girl with some tomboyish changes, she is so cute

Josie Charlwood- youtube page Michael found this girl and we LOVE her!! Her vocals are gorgeous and I dig singers who actually play instruments :)

I know it's been forever. . .

 Before the surgery

It has been a while since I have blogged, but I figured I should start again.  There has been a ton of stuff that has happened not only this year but also this summer. . . 

This summer started as normal preparing for and going to Hodia (a diabetes camp I have been going to off and on since I was diagnosed).  This is where the craziness started, Hodia is up in the Sawtooth Mountains near Stanley, Idaho.  And when your in the middle of nowhere you do not get cell phone service :) So on our  rafting day I call Michael to say a quick hello and and I love and miss you, and Michael responded with "didn't you get my voicemail?".  Nope I had not... Well Michael's older sister Irene had had a massive stroke the night I left for camp.  She had a blood clot the size of a fist removed during brain surgery!!  It's so crazy, Irene is only 44 years old :(

So with Irene being hospitalized that left us with our niece and nephew living with us.  So in one week we go from a family of three to a family of five with teenagers!! Lianna our niece is sixteen and Jonathan our nephew is seventeen.  Don't get me wrong we LOVE our niece and nephew tons!!  But going from cool Uncle Mike and Aunt Kat to parental type figures has been a tad odd.  We all of a sudden have had to come up with rules, restrictions and consequences.  Crazy!  Not only that but we live in a 3 bedroom, 2 bath, 1300 square foot  house...Perfect for our family of three but now for our family of five it's a little cramped.  We do not know how long Jon and Lianna will be living with us...It is up in the air right now.  Irene is doing good she is living at a rehab clinic and recovering nicely.  Poor Jonathan is sleeping on the couch in the front room, Lianna is calling our old office her room.  We are currently trying to find bunk beds for Aidan's room so we can move his bed into the office for Lianna.  Sooooo all this is happening plus the next part of the story....

Michael had been having an issue with his testicle being large and being as hard as rock.  I had been telling him to go our family practitioner and he had been putting it off like any man.  Well he finally went to a "Doc in the box" because he was in pain, he said it felt like he was being kicked in the junk with every step he took.  The doctor said it was a bacterial infection and treated him with some antibiotics.  Three weeks later and Micheal's testicle had not go any better so he finally went to our family practitioner.  He went to see our doctor on Tuesday and by Thursday that week he was diagnosed with Testicular cancer.  Friday that week Micheal had his right testicle/tumor removed. Michael started a blog about his experience www.alifeworthfighting4.blogspot.com

It was the longest and fastest week of our lives.

After Michael's surgery the doctor found me and explained the procedure, everything went well.  I asked what the next steps were.  He said a CAT scan to see it if the cancer had spread.  I asked in his medical experience if he thought Michael would need further therapy.  He said most likely yes, there was a high chance there still may be cancer in his scrotum, and he may need chemo. He stressed that was not a diagnosis but in his experience that's generally what happens. So Basically high chance of chemo awesome...

I was then allowed to see Micheal.  Best thing ever!! Let me just say Michael on anesthesia and narcotics ...the SWEETEST person ever!! No joke, All the nurses LOVED him.  I was walking towards his room and I could hear him asking "Where is my gorgeous wife? I wanna see my gorgeous wife Kat..." I walked in Michael's eyes lit up "There's my pretty wife!! I love you".   The nurse then told me that he was only supposed to have 1 cup of water and 2 crackers, he had 4 cups of water and 3 crackers..."He was just so sweet I couldn't say no...he's so nice" the nurse said.  

Michael had an appointment for the pathology results of his tumor Friday this week (8/3).  BUT it was changed to Monday (8/6), then that was cancelled and changed to 8/20 !!  The doctor sent his tumor to a specialist in Indiana for a second opinion.  Which should make me happy because it means my hubby is getting the best care possible.  But it just thoroughly ANNOYS the crud out of me!  I don't want to wait any longer! I want a specific plan of what's going to happen!  We still don't know if he needs radiation  or chemo.  He still needs a cat scan to see if the cancer has spread to other parts of his body.  He still may need another surgery to remove his lymph nodes....I'm tired of waiting.

Michael has been so positive and strong through all this, I've been a wreck :) I recently up until this had happened lost weight, I went from a size 14 to a size 9/10.  Well I hate to say it but I've been eating my feelings.  I've been worrying like a crazy person, I'm going to give myself a ulcer...well maybe not, can you get an ulcer if your stomach is full of cookies and milk?! 

A big thank you to ALL of our friends and family for their love and support, love you all.

Sick and Tired of being sick and tired

Well as of today I have been down with a kidney infection for about 5 days. This has seriously been one of the most NON fun and exciting experiences of my life! My lower back had starting hurting early last week, My and my amazing abilities of rationalization had me thinking it was just me standing funky while at work. Well Saturday Morning I woke up with a low blood sugar of 46 (regular blood sugar levels should be 70-120) so I was all sorts of tired and felt like crud and yet again rationalized it away as the "low blood sugar took a lot out of me". Then later on in the day all I wanted to do was sleep, and so I took a nap. The day progressed I had no appetite and if I took the blankets off of myself I would shake uncontrollably. And then I rationalized that I was getting sick, but it must just be a 24 hour bug. Woke up Sunday morning and felt like crud, I hurt ALL over, had a headache, and was nauseous. Michael got home and asked what we thought we should do, I said go to the doctor. He was all set wanted to take me right away but I refused and made him let me take a shower :) Yeah I know I'm smart. . .

Well long story short I went to the doctor, gave a urine sample, and was offer a script for antibiotics and some heavy duty pain killers. I took the antibiotics but refused the pain killers, the Doc asked me if I was sure 4 times, but I still refuse. Regardless to say . . .Bad mistake Kidney Infections FLIPPIN' HURT!!

But I am feeling better now :) Still a little woozy, but I am on the mend. It only took 5 days of bed rest, 3 sick days from work, and lots and lots of sprite and water :)

Needless to say I have learned my lesson, and will hopefully be smarter from it haha

Love you all

Kat ;)

I found my camera cord !!!

Look SOLD RANSOM!!!! yay my first new car EVER!! I love it!

It's just so pretty. . . .

okay and now onto my lovely new short hair :)

I am loving it! It's so much faster and easier to get ready in the morning. I have the best Hairdresser and friend: April J!! I have NEVER had a bad haircut from her. Love you April :)

okay I'm done. . . Time for bed!